grief counseling for an entire family

Posted on: 5 May 2015

Many young Americans are spending time in couples counseling before they even marry. You may think that the dating phase is early to start couples counseling, but there could be some worthwhile benefits in starting counseling early. The average length of time married couples take to start counseling is six years after they begin having problems, and by then, many problems are too serious to fix. Instead of waiting and going to therapy to save a relationship, why not enroll in therapy to help build a strong relationship from the beginning? 

Learn Tools the Will Last a Lifetime 

Many couples counseling sessions will focus on building tools to deal with your own emotions and conflicts you may have with your partner. This includes active listening, honest communication, and ways to identify and deal with stress as an individual and couple. These tools can be learned before you are experiencing conflict and then utilized when your relationship hits a difficult issue. If you practice using these tools from the beginning of your relationship, you will be used to using them when more serious problems arise. 

Additionally, these emotional tools can be applied to most relationships. Even if your current relationship does not work out, you will be more self-aware and prepared for a serious relationship with a future partner. 

Identify Potential Problems Before They Happen

Couples counselors can often spot minor problems that may lead to bigger compatibility issues. This can help you determine if your relationship is worth fighting for or whether your differences are irreconcilable. You should keep in mind that while a counselor can draw your attention to issues you may not be aware of, the final decision of whether your relationship is worth the effort is between you and your partner. 

Instead of looking for confirmation of whether your relationship will last, you can try to spot areas of conflict ahead of time. Knowing that your partner holds different views about sex, money, or raising children can help you create a plan to build a life together, accommodating each of your needs and desires. 

Create a Relationship with Your Counselor 

While the relationship you will be working on is between you and your partner, being able to trust your counselor is also important. Many people find it takes several sessions to feel comfortable discussing private issues with a stranger. If you develop that trust while you feel safe and secure in your relationship, it may be easier for you and your partner to agree to go to counseling once you do run into problems. 

Spot Red Flags for Abuse 

If you are in a potentially abusive relationship, you may not be able to spot the signs until it is too late to extract yourself from the relationship. While couples counseling is not recommended when there is abuse present, a couples counselor may help identify early trends of abuse and help you and your partner get the appropriate individual help you need to prevent the abuse from escalating. Creating a rule of attending a certain number of couples counseling sessions before moving in with a partner can help you avoid a potentially abusive relationship. 

Although the first date might be too early to start couples counseling, it should be something new couples consider before they make a long-term commitment such as marriage, having children together, or moving in together. Counseling early in the relationship may be more helpful for many people than waiting until problems arise and you are trying to fix them. If you and your partner are currently happy and without conflict, you may even find counseling sessions make an interesting monthly date.